I haven't always like exercising.
+For a long time, anything more intensive than the running I had done on the playground was seemingly so out of reach. + I could only look on at people in the track and field teams and their performances, labelling them in my head as + someone of a different class. +
+Someone beneath me.
+I'll admit, it was an ugly emotion. I prided myself on academics, and was only moderately good at anything + sporty — and only by virtue of brute effort. I saw physical exertion as a lower function, something to be done + by those whose intellect couldn't take first place. +
+But, slowly, this entrenched idea began to be chipped and hacked at, until some years ago it was finally dislodged. + I came to regret looking down, deep down in jealousy, upon people who could do better than the bare minimum of + physical achievements. I started to want to also claim that ability for myself. +
+So, over time, I've decided that I also need to start exercising, regardless of how hopelessly + weak I really was. After it occurred to me that, in addition to the mind, there was the body, just waiting + to be taken to its limits, it did make me, who tended to be a bit competitive, feel somewhat left behind, + as it was. I wanted to do much, much better, and now I've decided that's exactly what will happen. +
+I'm sorry to everyone I looked down on before; I've written down my feelings here to express how + shameful and disgraceful this jealousy is, but also to document this stage in what I today perceive as + a chance for me to evolve: a chance, also, to penetrate new boundaries and make the most of the body + I've been given. Everyone, I'm gonna join you up there at the top! +
+Well, that theatrical speech aside, I do still take this stuff seriously, and I've got a number of physical + goals I'd like to attain as part of my overall journey in life; in exercise, my ultimate goal is to + to maximise the strength and physique I can feasibly build, slowly working up to the highest levels of + fitness and health. Ultimately, it's all for the health, so I'm looking primarily for both strength and + hypertrophy, and only to a lesser extent endurance and conditioning. Nevertheless, I also want to supplement + the above with hearty development of the cardiovascular. +
+Despite talking big game, at the beginning of my journey in ~2020, I probably started off at a place of + lamentable weakness: I could, yes, do a pull-up and a push-up, but, lacking any sense of motivation or direction, + I never made considerable progress until I started taking it seriously—in 2024. Even in 2024, I'm still weak beyond + belief, but my progress is coming along: in addition to building up my pull-up repetitions to about 10+, + and push-ups to the 10s or 20s, I'm taking steps to build towards muscle-ups and, eventually, planche, + and one-armed variations of the above. To this day, my legs are still poorly developed, which I've been + more conscious of lately, so I'm thinking of doing more squats to remedy this. I can't say if it'll be enough, + though, and I also don't have any plans yet what to do when simple squats stop making any progress. +
+The truth is, with just the above, it would be insolent to high hell to call myself much of anything, + but it's probably the most I can do without sacrificing something else. I'm nowhere near there at all yet, + and I apologise if I've been arrogant in listing these goals and with my feelings and all, + but I will try in future to vindicate these ambitions and make this page more than just a burst of hot air. +
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+Obviously, it's no surprise that the rank amateur can't compare himself to the masters, + but it does make me ashamed to think that, with my current level of strength, should a time come + when it is put to the test, it will most certainly yield to most anyone my better. + If something were at stake in an altercation, like an encounter with violence, I couldn't do much + to protect anything. I resolved as I began to make some minor progress that that has to change. +
+It's far too arrogant still for me to claim anything of the sort, but they say that as one progresses + in something, they contrarily realise just how far away they really are from being capable of the very + best; the more competent, the more humble and reserved, and the more inadequate, the more arrogant. + In the end, I'm glad at least to have been able to witness, through places like YouTube, + just how hopelessly far away from the top I am as I am now, and how impossible it likely is + to make it there. The redeeming silver lining, however, is that that all isn't necessary at all. +
+My personal goals revolve around the same notional goal as "calisthenics": to maximise the beauty of the body. + Again, I must apologise for the grandiosity I seem to be exuding, but my dream is not to stun people in the + streets with a six-pack of abs or a tanned-up beach bod, but rather to make the most of what the body already has + inside it; to unlock first of all its strength, and secondly to harness it in synergistic beauty so as to + control it elegantly and handle it with grace. To be able to walk around with every muscle efficiently + supporting my gait, and to bend in gentle loci described by a body that's in total control of its movements. + That's all i really mean. However pretentious that still does sound, though… +
+So, even though once I do reach such a stage, it'll be very dubious to claim any level of strength at all, + I can still be glad that my goal is achieved. Even if unable to master the heights of professional athletics, + I can still master my own body. +
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